just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
All the doctor said was why
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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