Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I am full of burrito and curiosity
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
