Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
