I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
