I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If I die, sorry about rent.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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