We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
you will always have a special place in my vag
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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