Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
