Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
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