we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
