So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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