I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
