I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
