I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
