I'm eating all of the evidence.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
