I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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