About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
