i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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