dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
