I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Randomize
