Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
