no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
