We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
