yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
