You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Dick very happy bro
Randomize
