All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize