im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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