I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You're a waste of cheezeits
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Randomize
