I think my vagina is haunted
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
