just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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