dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
