So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
