we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Randomize
