Pappa wants mamma naked
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
