i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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