drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
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