Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Randomize
