btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize