I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Randomize
