I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
