OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
