i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
