I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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