I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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