I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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