oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Randomize
