I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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