Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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