Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I got chris browned last night
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
