we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
