I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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