My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Randomize
