eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
