Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
