I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
