i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
