like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Randomize
