My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
I am mentally ready for anal.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
