2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize