I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I need moral support for this bender
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
