did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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