Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
